I was tired of being told who i should be, how i should be. Trying to be molded into someone’s vision of what i should be. Being told how to act, what to say, how to think, Being put on a scale and judged on a curve with my peers. Just wanting to explore life on my own, discovery, an adventure on what life is like. Not to be put into some box and to conform to what others say or do or think. A chance to walk in the freedom that is in my mind and in my heart. In a world where it is okay to make mistakes without being punished. How i have such hatred for being controlled and manipulated. I have played long enough and have the wisdom to see through the charades. There is no freedom in being controlled and manipulated. When freewill is taken away, there is no freedom. we are all broken in one way or another. when you try to control out of your own brokenness you make it much worse. Rebellion sets in.
So one day Jesus, God, and The Holy Spirit are sitting around and they knew that the world they would create would turn into chaos. And So they devised a plan to redeem the world. They knew that they could not force their creation to love them, so they gave freewill. a choice. First we rebelled and fought and chose our own way, thinking we knew what was best. Keeping what we thought we needed and refusing what God knew we needed. Day by day we made it worse. Sort of a form of running away, which in my mind was the answer that i thought was best, and probably still do to this day. Where would i go, how far could i get, how will i survive on .53 cents. I hated it, i just wanted to run into the arms of someone who loved me. The turmoil that went through my mind was terrible, weighing the risk against the punishment was exciting. Meanwhile Jesus is waiting in the wings, ever watching knowing that His time would come, when he would come knocking. Let’s let this boy run his course, he says to one of his angels, he will need to learn and make a choice later on. You see it is all about choice. When the time was right, i wanted God and he came in. He didn’t force his way in, i invited him in. He came in and life was grand. Until i started going deeper and it felt like i was thrown into a closet and beaten up. That is where you learn and grow up in Christ, and you realize that his comfort is soothing and loving.
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5
Yet everyday i feel like someone is trying to burden you. Do it this way or do it that way, i know what is best for you, buy this, eat that, look like this, don’t do that, everyone is a telemarketer on how you should live your life. Conform to this world and you will be happy. That’s just the opposite of what Jesus says. There are many pharisees out there. Many do as i say, not as i do people. I have been guilty of that.
“For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.” Romans 8
“I am referring to the other person’s conscience, not yours. For why is my freedom being judged by another’s conscience?” 1 Corinthians 10:29
“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” 2 Corinthians 3:17
Where the Lord is that is where the freedom is, that is where i want to stand. God is in my heart and nothing can take that away. Being with God has got to be the biggest adventure i have been on. I may be wasting away on the outside, the world inside my heart and in my mind is vibrant and alive. No one can take that away. The battle is real and only in Christ Jesus can it be won. Keep winning……