A nice rain as Fall approaches us, here in Minnesota. The leaves are turning their familiar shades of yellow, red and orange. I love to watch the change of the seasons. Well except Winter. Cold and snow is all I think of then. The bundles of clothing, the shoveling, the warming up of cars. It will be dark when i go to work and dark when I come home. Right around the corner will be Spring, waiting to make it’s grand arrival. Seasons come and they go. Time seems to fly by in an instant. Creating memories along the way, a chuckle here and a chuckle there. Are you enjoying the moment?
Last night was a night of dreams here in our household. My wife dreamt of going to Hawaii with all her friends, and I had a deep dream of being on a treasure hunt. Who knows what the dog dreamt, maybe dreams of having his belly rubbed and getting fed treats. My dream started out in this big mansion that belonged to a widow who hoarded stuff. There were boxes every where. . The boxes were old and beat up. Like the were stored in the basement. They even had that unique smell of mustiness. In these boxes were these rare treasures, you had to dig through them to find it. Gold rings from the 1800’s and so one. There was antique furniture everywhere. Antique lighting and flooring. Everything was just old. Like walking into a time capsule. Very cool indeed. Then I found these cards. They were like pieces to a treasure map the I had to put together. Each card had a clue of a bunch shapes and symbols. you had to arrange the cards in a way to figure out where the next piece of the puzzle went. It was absolutely mind boggling. I was to the point where i was going to give up/ I did not know where to even start. So I was going to relax in my lazy boy and I kicked back and looked up. there Hidden at the top of the window frame was the first clue. Once I knew where to look, it made finding the rest of the pieces easier. I still had to put the pieces together.I searched through the house from room to room to find more pieces. That house was huge. When I woke up, i still had not found all the pieces. I knew wasn’t done.
I don’t know why I shared this, but to me it was an exciting dream. I like exploring and looking to see what I can find. I like a challenge, something to figure out. The deeper the better. I wasn’t alone in that dream either. There was a man with me the whole time. In my dreams, I come to know Him as a Father figure, or Papa. He has appeared in a lot of my dreams. He guided me through the house. He was there when I opened these treasures. I knew these treasures were not as important as the next mission i was going on. In fact these treasure did not matter. They looked appealing to the eye, and could be valuable, but in the end, they really did not matter. What was important was trying to figure out life with Papa. When I couldn’t figure out the clues and felt like giving up, Papa was there and showed me the next step. He was there every step of the way. He allowed those low times and those high times to teach me, strengthen me, and most of all to show me that I needed Him. That He is God and He is there to help, to guide and care for me. In the ups and downs, He is always present. He makes away when all seems helpless. He cares.
It has been four months since my crash. I think about it every day. My time on the ground, in the ambulance, in the helicopter and at the hospital. I think of what my family and friends went through. I think of all the people I came into contact with, the conversations we had and the laughs we had. I feel like I walked through a door and came out different on the other side. I can’t quite put my finger on it yet. Sure I move a little slower, and walk the dog more. I don’t smoke anymore, but there is something that I can’t quite put my finger on yet. I have a new title at work. I have had to come out of my shell a little, but there is something on the horizon that I just can’t see. I can feel it in my bones, just like the way i can feel the weather change in my collar bone. Kind of exciting, i must say. The world may look like it is crumbling and being torn apart, but My Lord is still on the throne.
I think that being the introvert that I am, I spend too much time worrying about what might happen, or could happen, instead of just relaxing and trusting Papa. I am very good at coming up with a thousand different ways life could go and none of them play out like my mind thinks it should go. I think Papa is secretly laughing at me when I am standing in the shower plotting and scheming on how things should go. He probably does a face palm and shakes His head. He knows that I will eventually get it one day. When,,,only He know. Until then I will keep trying to figure it out and look for clues to what is coming next. God leaves bread crumbs for you to follow. If you look, you will find them. If you feel like you are lost, just relax and the next crumb will appear. You don’t have to find all the pieces right away, that is where joy in the journey comes into play. Relax, Papa’s got this.