One day you wake up and wonder. Life has passed by like a rocket. I feel older than I am. I feel like I am living in a perpetual state of arthritis. I feel like I am that old guy, “get off my lawn”. I see more and more misunderstanding going on. People who take your own words and actions and twist them into some distorted perversion of that I am having a bad life. Last week some old guy came in and went on and on about leftover medical supplies and if we took them back. I explained that i could not, but suggested that He could donate them. Then He must have thought that i wanted to strike up a conversation about waste of unopened supplies. Again I had to explain that I could not take them back. I suggested that maybe he should donate them to the senior center. He told me he tried that and as he was finally leaving I said, “good luck”. My meaning behind it was one of success. I could clearly see his intention of wanting to help some one out. I then proceeded to turn back to answering the phone that rang five different times while i devoted my intention to him.
A few days later this elderly gentlemen peers into my co-workers window and sees she is there and sneaks into speak to her. He then tells his version of the story and how he seen me as a pain in the ass, all because I said good luck. Because I could not help him. Our policy is that once something is given to a patient, it is their’s. I cannot take back an unopened medical supply. The point being is that there is too much judgement without knowing all the facts. I was actually hurt a little. What are you to do? At times i feel like people have ruined life. It is hard enough being an introvert in this world. Your actions seem to be misinterpreted quite often. I wonder how often we do not understand someone elses thought process. I think people are to easily offended when it comes to the truth. I feel like I want to go and hide in a cave. I can go days without human interaction. I am thankful that I do not always see things the way others do. It is a real privilege in this day and age to be different.
Being introverted is a blessing. I can embrace a passion for something that cannot be satisfied and leave mu hungry for more. My love of God is this way. I can go from being afraid that I hurt His feelings to climbing up on His lap and crying like a little baby. I think I am always God-conscious. Aware of what’s going on and i do not want to miss a thing. I want to be a part and experience everything that is about Him. I want to know that I know. Then I am baffled when others are not that way. When others allow life to control their emotions and footsteps. When others speak without consequences or validity behind their words. Maybe I am being too judgmental here. Is it too much to live in a world were we put others first? There is always whaling and gnashing of teeth now. Where the dollar is put first, it truly is an all about me, dog eat dog world and who ever ends up with all the toys at the end wins and makes up all the rules. I am just sitting here back in the corner wondering about when i get to go home.
You don’t have to jump on every latest fad, or follow who or what is trending. You have permission to be yourself. What if everyone else is wrong and you are not. You do not have to always defend your position. God will set a feast before you in front of your enemies. He will guide you and sometimes you just have to wait. No one has a corner on God. He is not a commodity to be bought and sold. He is my friend.