Love comes to town……

a man of a different spirit...

I have been thinking about my opinion on what’s going on in the world lately. If anyone cares to know, I really don’t have one. A lot of the stuff going on doesn’t really matter much to me. I have sure noticed that sides are being chosen and lines are being drawn. People are sure good at deciding what is good and what is evil. It is interesting how people can decide what is best for others. Some days i can’t even decide what is best for myself. Usually when I do, I end up choosing wrong. I can’t figure out why we think we know what is best for others. Is it a control thing? What are the motives behind this? Who are we to decide what is evil and what is good? Are we judging then? I long for the day when peace, harmony and Love rule the…

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What really is a good day?

a man of a different spirit...

Sometimes I wonder what it is like to have a good day. What I mean by that is having things go your way. A good day at work, some good news, or something really positive happen. Just to have a good overall, put a smile on your face kind of day. The wind at your back and the sun in your face. A day when what’s stolen is returned. A day where you don’t have to listen to people’s  self indulged, all about me stories. A day when some is ready to give, rather than take. A day when unexpected blessings are just poured out on you. A day when you get to put a smile on someone elses face.  A day where greed and unselfishness will rule the day. I am not asking to win the lottery here, but a day where those who say they are in Jesus…

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I Love You….

Are you feeling the love?  When’s the last time you told some one that you love them.  Some people think it is weird when you tell them. Especially strangers. Knowing that you are loved can help you walk in confidence. It makes you feel good all over. It makes your spirit swell inside. It can put a big smile on your face and warm your heart and your toes. We all have acted like a fool over love. We all have done things that we would normally not do. When I was first dating Carol, I sang Roy Orbison to her. You just don’t do that with anybody. Take God for instance, I sing worship songs to Him, I do not know if it always warms His heart, but it does mine.  Take my dog for instance, I love him and will probably cry when he is gone, and he has his way of showing me that he cares.  How many people can you say that you will cry over when they are gone? Love is an interesting thing, a feeling that just makes everything okay. A day brightener, a mood changer, a healing force. How often to you sacrifice what is important to you for love?

For God so loved the world that He gave…..

Then enemy comes along to destroy love. He plants thoughts in your heart that can kill your heart. He spreads deception all around. He will try to ruin you and what you love, he is just plain old mean. A stumbling block that will come in and ruin what he perceives to be good. Rob you of your joy and try to kill your mood with lies, and false accusations. He is good at sowing seeds of deception. It hardly seems far that we can believe that he will do that more than we believe that we actually loved.

First of all you matter, you are here to crush the enemy under foot. God has given you everything that you need to win. The greatest power is within your grasp, you have it within you. YOU ARE LOVED.  Don’t let anyone or anything tell you different.  God has loved you and continues to love you. It doesn’t matter if you are having a bad hair day or not. God is always loving you. If it makes a difference, i love you. I am not here on this earth to make enemies, i am here for friendship. Love conquers all, that means my fears, my doubts and my insecurities are not mine. I do not own them. Love has beaten them. I am not always good at showing love, and maybe worse at receiving it, but I am willing to learn.

So if anything i just want to encourage you to not give up, do not lose hope. you have the right to love and be loved. It can look a million different ways, it is the heart that is behind it that matters. God is always in your heart and He has you back. Now get out there and love some one. As long as you are breathing, you are capable of loving and being loved. It is never to late…..

I am just letting some thoughts fly……

Writing, what an intimate release of thoughts. Some days i struggle with the thoughts of,”do i make a difference, or am i doing something fulfilling?”  I seem to be living a very full life. I do a job that seems to be a never ending flow of constant of the telephone ringing. There is always some one on the other end who wants something. I ask myself why do i keep doing it. Why don’t i do something that makes me happy. What is stopping me from doing that. Do I really know what I want to do? I have done a lot in life that i didn’t want to do. I was in the service for a while, but screwed that up in a year and a half. What a poor choice that turned out to be. Yet i had an experience of life. Learning about people and seeing how they are. I must say it is an interesting experience being in the navel brig. I wonder if that is where some of bitterness and judgement of people began. I found out that not everyone likes you and being in a clique is not always beneficial. There always seems to be a hierarchy and you have to go with the group. Not much of a chance to grow into being yourself. Because you want to fit in. I found out when your down and out and you are calling for bail money, no one wants to help.  You are then chastised for speaking your mind. I thought you could base friendships on trust, but mine was abused.

Then there was phase two of my perspective of life. The need to show off and be the life of the party, again trying to fit in. That takes money and if you want to do that all  the time, you need to get money and if you don’t have any, then you resort to other ways, that has the consequences,   and you end up with another group of people that you really don’t feel like you fit in with, but I have no choice, so i stay. There were murderers, thieves, con men and anything else you could imagine there. Quite an interesting bunch. Life goes by on the outside and on the inside you try to make the best of it. You learn how to adapt and try to stay out of trouble. That doesn’t always work and you wonder if you can trust anyone anymore, including yourself.  Time goes by and eventually you jump through their hoops, say the right things and play their game and you get to go home.  Home isn’t what is was when you get there and a whole new chapter evolves.

Again the game begins with a wicked bunch of baggage.  We fast forward a few years then comes along this Guy named Jesus. I have a million bumps in my road, but He doesn’t seem to care. Everything that has happened in my life was directed to get me to this point and place in time. He threw me in with a bunch of people who seemed to fit what I needed at that time. As i grew with them and tried to fit in, I started seeing sides of people that i really did not want to see. I thought we were all Christians and we are not supposed to treat each other like this. Then I start seeing where some rules apply to some and not others. Then the whole thing spiraled into some deep frustration for me. I left and again I thought i was doing the right thing.

One day at work, quite a while ago, some one missed judge my whole mood and said I was an angry bitter old man. They made that judgement without once seeing things from my perspective. Without walking in my shoes for a moment. I find I am building a wall against people. At one time I thought that maybe Facebook was a good idea, and at times I see that we all come from different back grounds and have different ideas and if you don’t agree, you can just unfriend. I was looking for friendship and found some and left others. I could have been in a book, but felt that i needed to pull out. I do things on how i think i am hearing from God.  Maybe some times I am wrong and even question my own motives, did I really hear right? I struggle with that whole love your neighbor thing. Some practice it, and some think it is one sided. I have pulled back on Facebook a couple of months ago and in the span of a couple of days, i unfriended a whole bunch of people. It wasn’t them it was just me. Things are never the way I think they should be, so it easier to withdrawal.  I get these crazy notions in my head and go and hide in a cave. It is much easier. Can i be accepted as I am. Will I ever quit struggling with doubt and fear,  will i ever find my place and purpose? For right now, I am content to just sit in my chair and watch life go by. If you see me sitting on the front yard, stop by and say Hi.

I always do,,,and i do it so well….

Worry, what a determined foe. It can put you in a tailspin and throw you off course like you could never believe. Being an introvert can make it ten times worse. The scenarios that i can create in my head on how any situation could go can be devastating and paralyzing. Why do i keep going there i ask myself. What good does it do and what is the purpose. When I read about Elijah running off and hiding in a cave, i had to think that he was worried about his life. Then God comes along and ask,”what are you doing here?”. i ask myself that question a lot. Yes I talk to myself. I find myself fighting the battle of worry quite often.  From worrying about work to do I look fat in these jeans. Worry, Worry, Worry….give it up.

So I am taking a new stance by fighting back and stepping more into God. After all doesn’t He know what is best. Doesn’t He have everything under control. Doesn’t He stand outside of time and see my life from beginning to end. Isn’t my hope and trust in Him. What a foolish little fellow i can be. I think I run to Papa for a lot in life. I find myself whispering prayers over everything.  So i try to stand on His word….

“Don’t be naive. Some people will impugn your motives, others will smear your reputation—just because you believe in me. Don’t be upset when they haul you before the civil authorities. Without knowing it, they’ve done you—and me—a favor, given you a platform for preaching the kingdom news! And don’t worry about what you’ll say or how you’ll say it. The right words will be there; the Spirit of your Father will supply the words…….Matthew 10:17-20

  Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life……Philippians 4:6-7

If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds. “Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. “If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes…..Matthew 6:25-34

I am who I am. God accepts me this way and others should also. I am here to follow and worship God. To the best of my ability. Nobody really knows what tomorrow will bring.  Where you will go and what you will do.  The constant struggle to look and feel good and have all everything your heart desires can kill a person. How much is enough? What is the price you will pay? I want more of Him and less of me. I have seen how things go when i take charge. It is interesting how other people think that they know what is best for someone else while their life looks like it is going down the toilet. I guess we are all blind in one way or another. God doesn’t answer every prayer the way i think it should. Thank God. Me, I just want a simple life, a few close friends, and some good food. I am content in our first house and I have learned to live a simple life. Someday I will have friends, or maybe having God is enough.

 

Fine…….

There was this man, who tried as hard as he could to help people.  People did not understand his methods or his way of thinking. They did not understand what it was like to be this man. The path of life that he was on was so completely different than the rest of the world.  He was not out for money or power or prestige. He was content in his own little part of the world. Doing what seemed right in his heart and mind. Trying to get through life as best as he could.  The man looks at life with his heart on his sleeve. He looks for goodness wherever he turns and is disappointed when he misses it in others. This man believed God and tried to live a life that reflected that. He often wondered if certain scriptures only pertained to some believers and not others. How some feel that they can  hide behind grace and not extend it to others.  He wonders why rules apply to some people and not others. Ho wonders why some think they are better than others. If people only knew that this man has been praying for them, yet he is still looked down upon. You see this man holds his faith in high regard, it is the most important thing to him, yet others trample on it. He worries more about what God thinks and walks in shame when he messes up. He cannot get past the fact that there is no shame or condemnation. He still worries what others thinks and has paranoia about life. This man is an introvert and is constantly thinking that something is wrong. He always feels like he is to blame. He finds it is easier to withdrawal than try and make new friends. He is afraid of judgement or he will be rejected. As hard as he tries to succeed, he will look at where he failed more than where he did a good job. He is always in need of encouragement, yet no one knows. He looks for any scrap of encouragement like a mouse looks for a crumb. He needs God more than ever.

So in his mind his life seems complicated. He does not know if he is different than anyone else. No one talks of such things. Everyone is afraid of vulnerability. People want to be respected, not have their dirty laundry washed out. So this man uses coping mechanisms. He keeps himself bottled up until he can find an outlet. He struggles with love and wonders what it is really all about. Can he truly be lovable with all his faults, with all his short comings that he is aware of in his own mind. Is he really worthy of love and how will he know when it is shown to him. He has lived a hard rough life, can he truly relax his mind and his heart and accept it when some one is genuine and sincere. What really does make this man happy?

Can the gospel really be true. Is there really good news between Genesis and Revelations.? Can there be salvation in all those pages. Is there hope and freedom. He at times can only see where he is falling short. He clings onto hope and is thankful for everyday he can get out of bed. Did Jesus really forgive, and what does it feel like? Can he really believe that there is goodness and kindness out there and would he know it when he sees it. Can he live in a perpetual state of love? He wonders when all the turmoil will stop in his brain. He wishes at times that everyone would walk in a conscious state of the Kingdom. He would like to see others love as they are truly loved. If they could only love their neighbor as they love themselves. He knows that God plays for keeps. He wonders if he will ever have true friendships. He knows that God will never forsake me or leave me, but he wonders where God is sometimes in this mess. He wonders if he will ever see beyond the mess, or enjoy it with God.  At times he wonders if he is a winner or a whiner. He really needs to know how wide and how deep and how tall the love of God is for him. At times he feels like he has to beg, and fish for a compliment. He just wants to be real and not have to pretend that everything is all right. He is getting tired and wants to go home, but knows he must stay here to endure. It can wear this man out. He gets tired of having to shut the world out.

You see this man is me, if you are one of the few who took the time to read this, you got a glimpse into my heart. Writing a blog is a creative outlet. I have tried many other things to soothe my though process. Prayer and writing are that works best. Beer and whiskey only numb the pain, it does not really solve the issue. No one really likes to talk about themselves unless they had really something exciting happen. No one really shares their heart anymore and they just put on a mask and pretend that everything is going alright. When they see you are having a bad day, they hope it is like the flu and is not contagious and avoid you like the plague. We live in world where money, power and prestige is king and showing how you feel is weak. Where we need to pretend that everything is fine, even when it is not.  Where everything is finer than frog’s hair and we cover up our feelings with what we seen on the six o’clock news, or some dumb thing we read on the internet. To be honest with you I am always not fine. I have battles in my mind, daily and my body is constantly sore. If i woke up one morning and did not feel this way, i would think the world came to an end.  In the long run, i will be fine,,,,,,when is the question,,,,until then i will keep loving God the best I know how.

Caution, Graphic Pictures Ahead…….

   It was twenty years a go today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play, they’ve been going in and out of style, But they’re guaranteed to raise a smile……Well maybe it was more than twenty years, and maybe it wasn’t on this exact day, I was probably only three or four, with what looked like a lifetime ahead of me.  I didn’t know that song back then and I was sing, “Jesus loves me this I know.” I did not even have a clue who He was, but He knew who I was and all the ups and downs I would go through to just get to the day where I would say yes to Him.  Then He knew all the bumps and bruises I would take after that. Last year at this time was the worst one. I went from having a winner winner chicken dinner, to having a helicopter ride without a view.  How life can change in an instant. The decisions you make while you are laying on someone’s lap and they are holding something on your head to keep you from bleeding. How the pain of broken bones is greater than the pain of your side ripped wide open. How your body can be broken, but in your mind you still feel whole and can cry out to God and know He is going to work things out for good.

    I wish I could say that I have some great insight and perspective on life after that day.  I wish I could tell you that my body is whole and there is not a visible scar anywhere, or that my sleep pattern is awesome and that getting out of bed is a piece of cake. I wish I could say that I don’t think about that day and all the details of the weeks that followed. Wondering if this trauma has made me better or worse. I have to confess that I have thought about the “why” quite a few times. I have not gotten an answer yet, so I have given up asking. I could say “poor me” and go one some pity party, and I probably did that already. I found out that it does not work. I could think that I am entitled to some special favor, but I would not know what that would look like. I could go on and on, but then I would just sound like some whiny two year old, and we all know how annoying that could be. Maybe I am annoying and don’t even know it, who would tell me?

Instead of telling you about the bad crap, let’s focus on the good.  Inside each one of us there is a light, and this light is constantly burning. Some days it burns bright and some days you can barely tell if it is flickering. This light is what drives you, what tells you that you can keep going, that you can do more than endure, that you are more than a survivor. It is an inner strength that can only come from knowing Him. He is the twinkle in your eye, that will to keep on going. There are some who have not got in touch with that light, those who are easily bowled over, those who give up too easily, those who are ready to lay down and die. Stop it, you are more than that. It is God who helps you conquer. The battle is already won, you have to decide if you are going to walk in victory or let your situation dictate your out come. 

I was a hurting unit that day, and my motorcycle did not fair well either.  I am sure the stress put on my family was not helpful either. Prayer helps and God is good. 

 

    

So you can see that I had an obstacle to overcome.  I walked with a cane for a while, and had a wound vac at my side. I had a hard time showering and going number two was difficult for a while. In time I healed. My wife and family was a tremendous help. There was a blessing there that I had not seen before. It is true that God’s goodness and mercy triumph. There were challenges ahead of me, but I looked at it as an adventure.  My faith in God never waiver, in fact I think I depended on Him more than ever. I haven’t had a cigarette in a year, with a position change at work and the stress that came with that, i could have used one several times. I still have aches and pains. I can tell when the weather is changing, thanks to a broken collar bone. 

I have an awesome scar that I like to show off. It is tight and sore at times, I have no feeling on one side of my hip, due to some road rash. I am thankful that I did not end up as roadkill. Everyday life is good, there are still bumps and assholes in the world, but at times they seem like a moot point in comparison to God’s mercy and kindness. You can either walk through life as a victim or you can see yourself as an over achiever of God’s mercy. My brother told me one day to not let this be my identity and I think that is pretty good advice. It is not who I am, but it is a testimony to God’s goodness. In a nutshell I am thankful to be alive and have all my faculties. I can still love, and forgive.  I can still bless. I still can have my sense of humor and laugh. I can still be thankful. I like How Carol put it one day, “I am glad that we didn’t have to plant you”  I am grateful too.  I am going to see the goodness in the land….

Training, raining, and other things

It has been kinda stormy around here the last few days.  Hail and we have had about three to four inches of rain. I don’t mind so much when it rains, as long as I do not get caught in it. Last night me and Monty had to run in it to get home, it was kind of funny to see him run with me, I think He thought that I could not even run and got a chuckle out of it himself.  So when it storms her, the dog likes to bark, and it can wake me up. Then I have a hard time getting back to sleep and I listen to the rain drip onto the window well cover. Then my mind starts to whirl and churn about all the things that stress me out. Being an Introvert, I can think of a million different scenarios to every problem that i am dealing with at the moment.  The struggles with work and dealing with people. The problems with my Mother-in-law’s passing away to the agonizing drive that I had to do this morning. So it took a couple of hours of all that contemplation before I got to finally get back to sleep.

So growing up in a small town, a traffic jam was at three thirty when all the school buses left the school and brought us home. When two cars got stuck behind a farm implement. I had to travel to another center during rush hour. I hate driving in the Minneapolis-St. Paul traffic. You are not sure if there is road construction or detours and you hope and pray that the back-ups are not too long, especially if you are a coffee drinker. If you know what I mean. When you get there you do a little dance and hope no one is in the bathroom. Being older the urge is more frequent than you can imagine. Anyway between dodging traffic and wondering why so many people are out of blinker fluid, I am thinking about my night of lacking sleep.  I am Having this conversation with God. He listens to me whine and then He reminds me of a dream that I had a few years ago. In this dream I was running through the woods, almost like I was behind enemy lines. I stumbled upon a wooden cabin on stilts. It was the enemies strategy room, where they were discussing their plans. I could hear what they were up too. I remember waking up wondering what I would do with this info. Today God reminded me that when I am contemplating all this at night, I am actually know what to pray against.  Does that sound weird? My prayer life isn’t always that great. I try, but I don’t think my prayers will be on some great lexicon of prayers.

I am not some big prayer warrior. Heck sometimes my mind starts to wander while I am praying and I find myself thinking about the next day or what am I going to have for lunch for tomorrow.  I often wonder if my prayers are answered or am I praying something selfish. Am i making a difference? I haven’t given up, or quit trying. I have to believe that God hears what I have to say. Sometimes I think He has the angels gather around and they have a good giggle about  some of my prayers. I would have to think that things would be a lot worse if I didn’t pray. How many times do you think that God has heard and did something.  I guess that is where faith, hope and trust is really coming into play. Where do people without any of these turn. I have found that people will say one thing, and do another, they will lie and cheat to get what they want. So faith in humanity is kind of thrown out the window. Sure there are good people out there. Do they use their blinkers though?

Everybody say, Oh Yeah…..

I let the dog out,,,well we went for a walk.  I realized that at times it is my favorite time of the day.  I put the earbuds in, turn on some music and start walking. Having earbuds in should be the universal sign for, “I do not want to talk”.  Some people get that and some do not have a clue. Yesterday some guy talked to me and I do not have a clue what he said as he drove on past in his truck. He was smiling as he said it, so I hope it was something good. I get lost in my thoughts as I walk, sometimes not even hearing the music. Today God and I were talking about not giving up. He reminded me about all the times I could have just given up in life. How I could have rolled over and just played dead, or wished I was dead. Let’s take my latest one. My motorcycle accident was almost a year ago, I still think about it and feel the effects. I talk about it and still like to show off my scar. I could have given up, but I didn’t.

Back in the early eighties, I graduated high school and went into the Air Force. I am not sure why, I didn’t think I would make it going to school i guess, or could afford it. So I thought being in the service would be it for me. Man was i ever wrong.  Having a rebellious nature and being in boot camp does not click. Trying to fit into an environment that goes against your human nature does not work.  I did not know a thing about the world and being an introvert did not help. Eventually my insecurities got the best of me and I ended up in the naval brig. I was just digging the hole deeper on giving up in life. What a mess and I did not know where to turn, but eventually I got out and headed home. Same old insecure little boy, new coping mechanisms.  A three day bus ride and I finally got home. I still thought of giving up.

I wasn’t home long and ended up in trouble again. The big house. If there was ever a time that I was gripped with fear and wanted to quit, it was then. A year and a half of life that i gave away. I endured though,  despair and hopelessness were always close by. Forever nagging and taunting. I finally went home again. This time I went to a new town, maybe the start of a new life, a gift of starting over. Same coping tools, new life. A move to another new town, with a wife and child. Same old baggage. When you allow your insecurities to  blow up, you can risk losing everything you have, a separation and another opportunity to give up. One day you wake up and see that love is a greater thing. So instead of hoping that everyone else will change to your way of thinking, you try a new thought of your own. Maybe I am the problem.

So I think all roads lead to Jesus. Some roads are easy and some of us choose the hard  rocky, hilly, stormy way. The easy way is to just coast along the way, you do not have troubles, or problems or any adventure, you really do not take any chances. I wonder if you really learn anything? Then there are the rest of us. Who took the hard road, experienced life in a whole different way, Who learned life isn’t always easy. Who went through trials and temptations, failing miserably many times over. Those of us who had to pick ourselves up time after time and thank God for the strength and ask for forgiveness. There is a difference in book knowledge and experience knowledge.  Life is not handed to you on a silver platter and it is all peaches and cream.  There are assholes in your life for a reason, and they are there to teach you something. Most of the time it is either grace, patience and love that is needed to be learned.  I find it is easier to learn when I quit fighting God for something that I think I need and Just take what He is giving me. It isn’t my job to teach other people a lesson. The only one who needs to learn something is me.

I will be fifty-three soon, I never thought that I would make it this far. There was a part of me from my youth that wanted to quit, give up on life. I thought about it a million times over. I hated my life and had no clue to where I was going. I did not know who I was, or what my role was on this earth. I could see no purpose for me to carry on. What an ugly world this is. Then one day the light bulb came on and Jesus revealed Himself to me, literally. Walking with Him hasn’t always been easy, but it has never been dull. I am thankful everyday when I walk up, in Him there is life. There is no quitting and today when I was walking with the dog, God thanked me for hanging in there and not quitting. He has always had a plan and a purpose, all I had to do was trust Him.

The thrill of victory,,or the agony of defeat……

“Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”..1 Timothy 6:12

There are two battles that are always going on, One, a fight to get free, and two, to stay free. I want to stay free and keep my joy. The battle is very real. Joy comes from God. That is something that I feel like I have been lacking lately. There has been a constant bombardment to keep me miserable. To keep me down. A constant flow of negativity that is everywhere. People do not even know that they are puking their crap on you. The enemy is real and he is out to rob, kill and destroy you. He will use whatever ways is necessary to rob you of your hope and joy. He will make your life hell. He will make you blind to the truth and deceive you with lies. He will try and take the truth and twist it in some demented way that makes it sounds good. He will use anxiety, doubt and fear to try and paralyze you. Tempt you with pleasures to give you a momentary second of good feelings only to crush it with shame and guilt. Then he will laugh at you in a mocking sort of way. If you are not aware of these tactics, you should be.

Then comes along Jesus. He could not be stopped. In His weakened state, He spent three days in hell, grabbed the keys and set the everyone free. He could not be contained. He gave freedom and liberty to everyone. There is no more bondage. His yoke is light. There is no burden, or shame or condemnation.  Yet people use it to intimidate us. Shame, guilt and intimidation are just scare tactics used by the enemy to put fear into you. Jesus came and defeated that. He is the one who will give you confidence. He will fight along side you, He is your victory. There are more with us than there are with them. Me walking with God puts me in the majority. I should be walking in a perpetual state of victory. Like Peter, I can take my eyes off Jesus and sink.

I am winning. Everyday that I get up is a victory.  I am condemned to victory. No matter how I try, i cannot lose. The enemy wants you to think that you have already lost the battle. You have not! Reach down inside you, that is where God is. He is always with you. You are filled with Him.  He is larger than your problem, your enemies. He is not concerned about the battle. He is more concerned about life. His grace and mercy are following you around, all the days of your life. You cannot hide from them or shake them. He is your confidence. When you live in the shelter of the Most High, you will be safe. Don’t let anyone rob you of your joy. Fight to keep it. It is yours and it can not be stolen from you ever again. You have everything you need  to walk in victory, every tool, every weapon. You have a strong heart that is full of God’s love.  Nothing can take away what God has given to you. Where you decide to walk is entirely up to you. You can continue to walk in a swamp of crap, or you can grab Jesus’s hand and let him pull you out.  I can choose to be miserable and look at the crappy side of life, or I can choose to ignore the crap that people try to shovel into my life. I am a winner,,,,I should be treated as such. I am a child of the King and I belong to Him.